Bipolar, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, OCD. I find myself becoming more and more self destructive in my life relationships and friendships. Nothing makes me happy I just wake up everyday. Don''t even know if I am still alive. Some days I just want to be numb, and not aware of what is going on around me. Then other days, I have to be out and everywhere...Social. Failing at my relationship, I would rather have sex with strangers then with my boyfriend. Love is to hard.. just don''t want it.